Vacay Time!

The last week before my Christmas break had been insanely stressful. I could punch every person who said our last course was supposed to be easy. It was not; at least not for me.  There wasn’t a lot of theory, but the practical was a struggle for me. But I managed to understand it in the end.

I believe it was Tuesday when we began to do fault finding. That was a bad day for me. It wasn’t sinking in for me. I got so flustered and frustrated to the point where I just wanted to go hide and cry. I  didn’t want to fail. While most of my coursemates completed 10 faults or more completed by the end of the day, I had a measly 5. So that night I studied the schematics and theory some more.

The next day I was doing a bit better, and with some help from my instructor everything began to make more sense. By the end of the day I had done 16 faults and was definitely feeling a lot better. I spent pretty much the whole night studying my tush off. I had both my written and practical exams the next morning.

The written exam I didn’t feel good about. There were a lot of questions where I felt a bit unsure about. But I did a lot better than I had expected. Even scoring higher than some other people who normally do well! That was a major confidence booster. I was feeling a whole lot better about doing the practical.

The practical went a lot smoother. It only took me 40 minutes to complete my 5 faults, which is impressive considering on our first day of fault finding it took me probably close to 2 hours to do 5 faults! I passed with flying colours!

I’m almost half way though my Christmas break, which is sad. I wish I had more time at home. It hasn’t really felt like Christmas this year. I blame mother nature being drunk. Let’s see earlier this week it was actually warmer here than it was in some parts of California. For those of you unfamiliar where I live, normally at this time of year we have snow and are sitting below zero.

Christmas eve was spent at my parents with my husband. Instead of doing the traditional turkey or ham we grilled steaks! It was delicious! Felt a little strange at first but it was grilling weather! Today we’re doing the big Polish Christmas dinner with my husbands family. There will be lots of yummy foods! Tomorrow we’re driving up to Trenton to visit my Brother and his family, doing Christmas #3 with them. Then it’s back home for a few more days.

Since coming home I’ve finally sink my teeth into Fallout4. It’s better than I had expected. I’m not big on FPS games, mainly because they stress me out a lot. But playing with my hubby right next to me has eased my stress. Mainly because I can throw the controller at him if I’m starting to feel really stressed, lol! And he also offers a lot of moral support by coaching me through what I need to be doing.

This may be my last entry for year, so Marry Christmas and Happy New Year!


I’ll Be Home For Christmas


It’s that wonderful time of year once again! I can’t wait to get back home for a couple of weeks and spend some much needed quality time with my hubby and family. I wish I could say I have most of my Christmas shopping done, but that would be a flat out lie. I have a couple things, but not much. It’s hard because I’m still relatively far away from shopping areas and with being on course I have other priorities like studying and passing my classes.

I booked my train home last week. Thank you Via Rail for your Black Friday deals! All fares were reduced plus I also got an additional discount. I went with Business Class because I can and I wanted to spoil myself a little. Honestly, if you can, choose Business class! It’s worth every cent! More leg room, meals and drinks all included. Priority boarding, access to the business class lounges where there’s more free drinks/food. It’s a pleasant experience overall.

I had a rather difficult exam yesterday morning. I felt so confident going in and then I opened the exam book and suddenly I felt like Jon Snow.

jon snow

The problem stems from how wordy the questions are. There were a lot of trick questions. Most exams are like that and it’s incredibly frustrating. I know the subject matter, it’s just gah! The way they word the questions could drive you up the wall! My other issue with the exam is that there were questions on there about stuff we hardly talked about in class. So that gets a little annoying.

We had our practical exam this morning and again I felt pretty good about it before hand. I did really well on the practise exam the day before but my goodness! The first 2 faults were BRUTAL. I got the second one wrong, which I had a feeling would happen. Given the symptoms and comparing the readings to my nominals, it was hard to determine where the fault actually was. From the sounds of it a lot of my course-mates struggled with the first 2 faults. The last 3 were a breeze. At least for me anyways. But still, afterwards I was stressing so much!


It’s especially stressful having to sit in a room for over an hour just waiting to find out if you passed or failed. Then everyone starts to discuss the exam and you start to second guess your answers. It’s just a downwards spiral! I was freaking out in my head. What if I failed and had to do a retest? What if I failed the retest? How far back would they recourse me? Everyone is different, some people get lucky and only go back a course or two. Others aren’t that lucky. There’s a girl who just failed out of amplifiers (approx 3-4 months into POET) and is being sent all the way back to the very beginning.

Supposedly they send you back to where they feel you began to struggle. But each case is different and they look at a number of things other than your marks, like your attitude, whether you’re staying for extra help when it’s offered, etc… But seeing as this would be my first fail, would I be able to get on the course right after mine? Or would they send me further back? I’ve been here for nearly 6 months, I con’t think I could handle doing all the all over again.

Thankfully I passed. I did get the second fault wrong. I wanted to argue it because based on my symptoms and reading, they wouldn’t have lead me to where the actual fault was. But I didn’t want to fight it. I didn’t want to argue. I took my passing grade as it was. I was just so relieved. No more stressing! At least until my next set of exams next week.


Course Progression

I figured it’s been awhile since I’ve talked about my course. I’m now on the home stretch! Only a few more units left and rumour has it that these units are much easier than our previous ones. Now It’s a lot of putting what we have previously learned into action and applying it to new things. I nearly got perfect on my last practical exam! I score 98% which I’m damn proud of! Especially since I felt a little iffy on a couple of my faults. But I did everything right. I lost a mark for one small procedural error.

dean scream

Two weeks ago was a pretty intense week. We had 2 tests and 1 written exam back to back. I was so happy when Friday rolled around so my brain could take a much needed break! The next week had been pretty stressful too, but for other reasons, which I can’t really go into detail about.

Long story short, classes got interrupted some because we had stuff to do, which was annoying and a pain in the ass. But it was something that was going to be done regardless. They just weren’t planning on doing it so soon apparently. Any ways, things are good now. We didn’t get too far behind in our classes. I’m just glad this happened last week as opposed to the week before. It’s hard enough when you’re stressed about passing your classes and then to throw some more stress on top of it all.

Sorry for the extreme vagueness but I can’t say much more than that unfortunately. Even though most of the public is aware of it, I can’t go into details. Also granted the public doesn’t know the whole story.

I’m nearing the end of yet another unit now. I’m looking forward to the next one because it’s much shorter with it being only a week and apparently much easier. But we shall see if there is much truth to that. What’s easy for some is not exactly easy for all.


Im on the homestretch. Almost done the first half of BMQ. This week was easy but rough. It was easy in the sense that we were finished classes by 3 or 4 all week. But it’s been a lot of weapons training. Yesterday was our test and I choked. My mind froze and I forgot a step. It was stupid on my end. So stupid. But i was a ball of nerves!

I went to the extra training the night before the test. My rifle sucks and now everyone believes me. I was having issues cocking it. So the MCpl took my rifle and tried to cock it. He sliced his finger open. Yup. That happened. So he talked to one of my Sgts and I can apparently get issued a new rifle. Mine is clearly not safe.

Next week is gonna be busy. I have my weapons retest and the force test (again) on Monday.  Tuesday we have our drill test which will be a walk in the park. My drill is pretty good. Not amazing, but we did a mock test yesterday and I did well.

Our platoon has duty next week. But it’s only for a few days, not a whole week. We really dodged a bullet there.

CF on the Brain

Since completing my test on Tuesday and hearing I did really well, I can’t stop thinking about my future in the CF. IT seems so real now. It no longer seems like a fleeting goal or a what-if scenario. I can vividly see everything now. I can imagine myself doing it so clearly that it feels real. I know I’m on the right path. I can feel it in my bones!

I know some of you are probably just rolling your eyes thinking “Oh she’s just getting overly excited.” And yes, maybe I am. But I do know that from my own personal experience, whenever I feel this way, I know everything is going to work out. It’s hard to explain. It’s like I just know it’ll work out. There’s nothing that’s going to stop me.

I do have one worry, when will I get the call? I probably wont be getting a call for my medical and interview for at least month, maybe two. So that puts me waiting until mid May until I get those at the earliest, then I have to hope I get merit listed, and then waiting for the job offer. So chances are, I may not get all that until possibly June or July at the earliest. Now here’s my dilemma. My cousin is getting married this October and I’m a bridesmaid. So if I’m at BMQ in July (if I’m lucky), that puts me getting home September. But if I’m unlucky, I wont be at BMQ until August… which means I could either miss her wedding or pull what my brother did, show up right after graduation.

I’m not exaggerating much either with that bit about my brother. He graduated on April 18th and my wedding was April 19th. He couldn’t leave until the morning of the wedding and he managed to arrive 4 hrs before the wedding, and he was also a groomsman. So yea, I just would hope that wouldn’t be the case with me because unlike with guys, us girls take a little more time to get ready. You have to get your hair done, your make-up done etc… not something you want to rush.

OR there’s the absolute worst case scenario and I get sent to BMQ in September, which would mean I definitely would miss her wedding. That would break my heart. She’s the sister I never had. We grew up together. We lived only a couple blocks away, went to the same elementary and high schools, liked the same things. I want to be there for her, be there to celebrate with her. Apparently you can get a weekend leave pass, but it’s not a common practice and it’s usually only for more serious cases, like a parent dying or something like that.

I’m trying to stay positive, I’m hoping for the best. This waiting is killing me. What’s also killing me i shaving to lie in job interviews now. I’ve learned that I need to keep my mouth shut about my plans to joining the Canadian Forces. I’m pretty sure that’s why I didn’t get that last job. But it’s just so hard, I don’t like lying. I like being open and honest. Yesterday I had an interview, which was brutal. They kept asking me what my 5 yr plan was or where do I see myself in 5 years? I couldn’t say “Oh I see myself being an avionics tech in the Canadian Forces” because then they would question why am I applying here. I’m not worth the investment of hiring and training. So I had to lie, I went with what use to be my 5 yr goal: be a Visual Merchandiser. That was my dream once upon a time. But I was smacked with the harsh reality that I’ll never get a job as a merchandiser because I can’t get the work experience because no one will give me a chance! RAGE!

There were a lot of annoying and weird questions. One was “What do you except from this company?” I was at a loss for words. What do I expect? I wanted to say “To hire me and pay me.” but obviously I couldn’t say that. Have I ever mentioned that I hate vague questions like that? You need to be more specific. I ended up saying something to do with giving me the chance to gain more experience as a visual merchandiser.

Honestly, I’ll be surprised if I get the job. Even the manager thought I was a bit too “mature” for just a sales associate position, seeing as I’ve been key holder and an assistant manager before. So chances are I’ll get the excuse of being “over-qualified” for the job.

I’m going to a job fair today for a new supermarket. I hope someone will take pity on me and just hire me. I’ve never worked in a grocery store so they can’t say I’m “over-qualified” because grocery vs mall retail is very different.

So this turned into a rant, I wasn’t planning on it. It just happened. I’m frustrated for very obvious reasons. I need an outlet and this would be it. Any ways, cheerio!

And the Verdict is….

Okay let’s try this again! I had a draft typed up but apparently it didn’t save. Any ways, this morning I wrote my CFAT. Nervous doesn’t even begin to describe what I was feeling. I arrived around 7:25am, very early but I would rather be super early than late. I wasn’t even the first one there.

Around 8:00am we were let in and they began to process our paper work. They checked our IDs, made sure everything was filled out properly, photo copied our transcripts etc… The person I was dealing with was impressed with how organized I was. I had everything separated with paper clips in my folder. I guess they must be use to disorganized applicants?

Waiting to write the test ramped up my nerves. I kept worrying if I would score poorly and not qualify for my trades. The first 2 sections were okay. I’m pretty sure I aced the spatial part. I good with spatial stuff. I must say, the practice spatial questions in my book were a lot harder than on my test. Well, maybe a bit more difficult… It wasn’t easy, just not as hard as I was prepared for.

The problem solving was painful. 30 mins is not enough time. I’m sorry, but 30 mins for 30 problems is barely doable. I was at question 26 when I noticed I only had 2 mins left. I wanted to freak out! But I managed to answer the last 4 with just seconds to spare!

Then it was the waiting game. We had to wait about 20 mins to find out our results. They call your name, you go into a little cubical and find out what your fate is. I was ready to hear the worst. I was ready to be told “Sorry, you didn’t score well enough.” I tried to keep my composure as best I could.

My results? I scored well. I scored REALLY well! I qualified for all my trade choices! I wanted to jump up and dance! I was over the moon with joy! I kept that in and to myself. Need to give a good impression. Now is the waiting game. I have to wait for them to give me a call to book my medical and interview. He said it’ll probably be about a month before I hear anything. But given my score and my first choice is an in-demand job I may get in soon!

It’s just such a relief to be done this test. That’s what I was most worried about. Now I can focus on getting back into shape. I’m not worried at all about my background checks. I’ve never be arrested, never done drugs, don’t have any substance abuse issues, I have no debt, etc… I’m an ideal candidate.

Stress Stress Stress

Oi life is full of it. Right now I’m being hit with a wack-a-doodle amount. I lost my job last week. Well, didn’t “lose” it per-say, but was told that because their “busy” season was done, so was I. I knew it was coming but I had held onto hope that maybe they’d keep me. But they didn’t and I’m jobless. I had one interview last week on the spot, I thought it went well.

But I can’t lie to people apparently. I told them about my current application to the Canadian Forces. And perhaps I should have kept that to myself, but c’est la vie. What’s done is done. I can’t go back and erase that. Although she said she was going to see if she could get me in sometime this week. I haven’t had a phone call since, so I think maybe she was just being polite?

But I’m jobless, which means no cash-flow coming in. Not many places are hiring, and those that are don’t take resumes at store-level. No, you have to go to their website, jump through hoops by answering stupid questionnaires, filling out your work history along with submitting your resume. Then you never hear back. Or the places that are hiring are nowhere near home or take over an hour to commute to.

Oh and I’m stressing about my test coming up on Tuesday. I’m worried I wont score well enough and wont qualify for the trades I’ve chosen. I want to curl up into a ball and just cry. I just want some stability for once. I want to not have to worry if I’m going to lose my job. That’s why I want to get out of retail completely and into the Forces. At least I know once I’m in, I’m in. I looking for a life-long career with them. I want to be able to retire in my 50’s from the Forces.

I’m not looking for something short term. I want long term! I want to be able to make a life for myself, my husband and our future offspring, when that happens. I can’t do that working retail. Nowadays you never know if a business is going to sink or swim. Even businesses that have been around for decades are closing up shop. Stores that have just opened are only lasting a year or two and then they go out of business.

I just want some certainty in my life right now. Is that too much to ask for?