CF on the Brain

Since completing my test on Tuesday and hearing I did really well, I can’t stop thinking about my future in the CF. IT seems so real now. It no longer seems like a fleeting goal or a what-if scenario. I can vividly see everything now. I can imagine myself doing it so clearly that it feels real. I know I’m on the right path. I can feel it in my bones!

I know some of you are probably just rolling your eyes thinking “Oh she’s just getting overly excited.” And yes, maybe I am. But I do know that from my own personal experience, whenever I feel this way, I know everything is going to work out. It’s hard to explain. It’s like I just know it’ll work out. There’s nothing that’s going to stop me.

I do have one worry, when will I get the call? I probably wont be getting a call for my medical and interview for at least month, maybe two. So that puts me waiting until mid May until I get those at the earliest, then I have to hope I get merit listed, and then waiting for the job offer. So chances are, I may not get all that until possibly June or July at the earliest. Now here’s my dilemma. My cousin is getting married this October and I’m a bridesmaid. So if I’m at BMQ in July (if I’m lucky), that puts me getting home September. But if I’m unlucky, I wont be at BMQ until August… which means I could either miss her wedding or pull what my brother did, show up right after graduation.

I’m not exaggerating much either with that bit about my brother. He graduated on April 18th and my wedding was April 19th. He couldn’t leave until the morning of the wedding and he managed to arrive 4 hrs before the wedding, and he was also a groomsman. So yea, I just would hope that wouldn’t be the case with me because unlike with guys, us girls take a little more time to get ready. You have to get your hair done, your make-up done etc… not something you want to rush.

OR there’s the absolute worst case scenario and I get sent to BMQ in September, which would mean I definitely would miss her wedding. That would break my heart. She’s the sister I never had. We grew up together. We lived only a couple blocks away, went to the same elementary and high schools, liked the same things. I want to be there for her, be there to celebrate with her. Apparently you can get a weekend leave pass, but it’s not a common practice and it’s usually only for more serious cases, like a parent dying or something like that.

I’m trying to stay positive, I’m hoping for the best. This waiting is killing me. What’s also killing me i shaving to lie in job interviews now. I’ve learned that I need to keep my mouth shut about my plans to joining the Canadian Forces. I’m pretty sure that’s why I didn’t get that last job. But it’s just so hard, I don’t like lying. I like being open and honest. Yesterday I had an interview, which was brutal. They kept asking me what my 5 yr plan was or where do I see myself in 5 years? I couldn’t say “Oh I see myself being an avionics tech in the Canadian Forces” because then they would question why am I applying here. I’m not worth the investment of hiring and training. So I had to lie, I went with what use to be my 5 yr goal: be a Visual Merchandiser. That was my dream once upon a time. But I was smacked with the harsh reality that I’ll never get a job as a merchandiser because I can’t get the work experience because no one will give me a chance! RAGE!

There were a lot of annoying and weird questions. One was “What do you except from this company?” I was at a loss for words. What do I expect? I wanted to say “To hire me and pay me.” but obviously I couldn’t say that. Have I ever mentioned that I hate vague questions like that? You need to be more specific. I ended up saying something to do with giving me the chance to gain more experience as a visual merchandiser.

Honestly, I’ll be surprised if I get the job. Even the manager thought I was a bit too “mature” for just a sales associate position, seeing as I’ve been key holder and an assistant manager before. So chances are I’ll get the excuse of being “over-qualified” for the job.

I’m going to a job fair today for a new supermarket. I hope someone will take pity on me and just hire me. I’ve never worked in a grocery store so they can’t say I’m “over-qualified” because grocery vs mall retail is very different.

So this turned into a rant, I wasn’t planning on it. It just happened. I’m frustrated for very obvious reasons. I need an outlet and this would be it. Any ways, cheerio!

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