Stress Stress Stress

Oi life is full of it. Right now I’m being hit with a wack-a-doodle amount. I lost my job last week. Well, didn’t “lose” it per-say, but was told that because their “busy” season was done, so was I. I knew it was coming but I had held onto hope that maybe they’d keep me. But they didn’t and I’m jobless. I had one interview last week on the spot, I thought it went well.

But I can’t lie to people apparently. I told them about my current application to the Canadian Forces. And perhaps I should have kept that to myself, but c’est la vie. What’s done is done. I can’t go back and erase that. Although she said she was going to see if she could get me in sometime this week. I haven’t had a phone call since, so I think maybe she was just being polite?

But I’m jobless, which means no cash-flow coming in. Not many places are hiring, and those that are don’t take resumes at store-level. No, you have to go to their website, jump through hoops by answering stupid questionnaires, filling out your work history along with submitting your resume. Then you never hear back. Or the places that are hiring are nowhere near home or take over an hour to commute to.

Oh and I’m stressing about my test coming up on Tuesday. I’m worried I wont score well enough and wont qualify for the trades I’ve chosen. I want to curl up into a ball and just cry. I just want some stability for once. I want to not have to worry if I’m going to lose my job. That’s why I want to get out of retail completely and into the Forces. At least I know once I’m in, I’m in. I looking for a life-long career with them. I want to be able to retire in my 50’s from the Forces.

I’m not looking for something short term. I want long term! I want to be able to make a life for myself, my husband and our future offspring, when that happens. I can’t do that working retail. Nowadays you never know if a business is going to sink or swim. Even businesses that have been around for decades are closing up shop. Stores that have just opened are only lasting a year or two and then they go out of business.

I just want some certainty in my life right now. Is that too much to ask for?

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