I’m Learning!

Sorry for the lack of updates. There were a number of factors leading to that. The main one was lack of internet access. So I’m going to try and condense and summerize everything since my last entry! Wish me luck!

After completing BMQ, I was sent to Borden to await my training. Borden is very pretty, especially if you love nature. There are a lot of trails to walk/run in you’re spare time. But in the dead of winter, Borden is not fun and is even less fun if you can’t drive or own a vehicle. It’s very isolated and the nearest town is a bit of a hike; the nearest city is about a 30 min drive. Like I said, you’re isolated. It can drive you mad!

Being on PAT platoon was not the most enjoyable thing. I actually wished I was back at St Jean from time to time. MY best advice is to volunteer for tasks. It at least gets you out and doing things other than working out twice a day.

Just 2 weeks after I arrived I received my course dates and they were beginning much sooner than I had anticipated. I was looking to see if I could get a detached posting to a base in my hometown so I could live at home with my husband. But my first course, POET (Performance Oriented Electronics Trainning) was set to begin in only 7 weeks (April 24th), so there was no way they would send me home. So I stayed and huffed it out, only to discover 2.5 weeks before my course was to start, it had been cancelled. Everyone on my course got shifted around. Some were lucky and were only pushed back to April 30th, the rest of use were pushed back to either June 8th or June 29th.

Wanna guess what date I got? Give up? June 29th. I was furious. I could have been at home, tasked to the base in my hometown, and not paying rations. Of course there was still no way they’d send me home because by the time my posting would have been approved it would have been declined. There\s this thing with long-term posting for tasks that they don’t like to post you unless its for a minimum of 2 months.

So I was stuck in Borden for another 2 months. I at least got on a nice long term tasking on base working with the 3 Canadian Rangers Patrol Group. I worked with a lot of amazing people there. And even though I’m not going to be a Supply tech, I learned a lot from them.

Finally The end of June rolled around and I was packing my bags and heading off to Kingston for 7 months. POET is not easy. Especially if you have no background in electronics. Even thought they teach you everything, it’s fairly condensed and hard. To pass a class you need a minimum of 70% on the final test. You could get 69% and that would be considered a fail. And people do fail out. There is one course that has lost about half it’s students since it began and they’re only about halfway through POET at this point. We’ve only lost 1, which now makes me the only girl on my course. Lucky me, I now have to babysit 13 boys. Well not all of them are bad, just some.

Kingston is much nicer than Borden, mainly because you actually in a city, so when you’re not busy studying there are lots of fun things to do. For anyone who will be taking POET, study study study! I can’t emphasize that enough! If you don’t understand something in class, ask. If you don’t understand what you’re supposed to be doing in a lab, ASK! Don’t be afraid. Suck up your ego and pride and ask for help. Otherwise you’re just going to screw yourself over. The instructors are there to help. They want to help you because they want to see you succeed!

Some other bits of general advice: Don’t leave your lockers in your room unlocked or leave the combinations on the back. The staff will periodically go in your room to make sure your stuff is secured and your room is clean. Also, hang your DEUs up in your closet and not shoved in the bottom of your kit bag. Your staff will not like that and will punish your entire course with an open locker inspection, which is not fun in the least. Also make sure your parade boots are super shiny. They do inspect them once a week and if they’re shit you will be on boot parade until they are vastly improved.

BMQ Complete!

First, sorry for the long delay in updating! The last 2 months have been insanely busy for me! I finished BMQ! Getting to grad day at times seemed like a daunting task. Some days were brutal and really tested me. I’ll try to give a little review on my final few weeks at basic.

Our first week back after the holidays was very boring. It was a lot of sitting around doing nothing. Week 8 we went to Farnham for the first time. It could have been a good time. But someone had to get an improper haircut on the weekend so we all paid for it. So instead of having only 4-8 people doing sentry duty per hour at night, we had 16. Not fun. Especially when 12 of the posts were outside and it was freezing.

We did the obstacle course, which was not fun. Mainly because we had to trudge through deep snow and it was snowing pretty heavily. I fell off of one obstacle. I wasn’t hurt, don’t worry. I landed in the net. I was just mad at myself because I was so close to finishing it. The most terrifying part was when one of our staff tried to get me down. My tactvest and rifle began to strangle me and I couldn’t breathe.

We went to the firing range the next day. We marched at an insane pace and I got really bad blisters on my heels. Not good when you have a 13km ruckmarch the next day. The range was very cold. It was so cold that the sensors on the targets weren’t recording our hits properly. So our scores were terrible.

The ruckmarch sucked. Before starting we had our feet inspected by the doctor. He looked at my heels, cringed, bandaged them and wished me good luck. I made it about 4.5km in before I was pulled out. My heels were in so much pain and I almost slipped twice on the ice. I was so mad at myself. So disappointed. I know if I didn’t have those bleeding blisters I could of done it, no problem! And yes my blisters were in fact bleeding. That’s how bad they were.

I don’t think I was ever so happy to see the Mega in my life. Farnham sucked. I was not looking forward to going back in 2 weeks. Oh and here’s one more kicker. When we got back to the base we were told we had inspection  the next morning. So guess what we all did from about 3pm to 11pm, laundry! Oh my god there was so much laundry…50 people and only 4 washing machines…yea, that was fun….

Week 9 were learned topography, which was actually kinda fun and interesting. It was just a nice change of pace.

Week 10 we learned CBRN (gas mask training). That I was more worried about. You have very little time to mask up. But once you learn the drills and learn to keep calm it’s not so bad. It’s when you start to panic that you screw up.

Week 11 was Farnham part 2. We slept in tents in the freezing cold. But we had coleman stoves and lanterns in the tents to keep us warm. Plush the gear they do issue you is amazing. I was nice an toasty in my sleeping bags. We did the obstacle course again and I made it through everything without falling. That was an amazing feeling! Then we did photos afterwards. We spent a couple nights in shacks but you didn’t really get any sleep. There was no time for sleep. Our staff kept us busy around the clock.

Charlie 3-5

Our Staff

1 Section

2 Section (my section)

3 Section

4 Section

The girls! Squat Position Change!

Coming back to the base felt amazing. But what wasn’t amazing was the timings they gave us. 30 mins to bring all our kit upstairs, changing into clean clothes and meet in one of the breakrooms. Only about a dozen of us made it in time. But really, that’s an insanely short timing for everything we had to do. Because guess what, we had drill practice! Yup, a week at Farnham, sleep deprived and then they make you do drill for about 4 hrs.

Grad week was bitter sweet. We all felt great because we knew we had survived it all. We finished all our training. We felt like seniors in high school, top of the food chain, ready to move on to the next phase in our lives. But first we had to learn the drill for parade. Everyday we had drill practice. But we needed it. We needed to know the parade better than the backs of our hands. Our staff wasn’t going to be there to call everything. The parade was all us.

When grad day arrived, we dressed in our DEU’s (dress element uniform), got our graduation certificates, took photos and made sure we all looked good. the moments leading up to the start of the parade were nerve-wracking. But once you get your mind in the zone, you forget there’s a couple hundred people out there staring at you. Marching out for the last time was amazing. It was over. It was all done. We were finally finished!

Before we were allowed to go to the reception our platoon 2I/C had us line up in 4 ranks and gave us a little speech. Then he dismissed us for the very last time. Still get’s me a little emotional when I think back to it. It was a very touching moment that I’ll never forget.

As terrible as BMQ was at times, I didn’t truly hate it. And I don’t regret my choice of joining the Canadian Forces. In the end, it was all one big learning experience. I had some good times there, made some memories and friends. Even though some of us may never see each other again, well that’s why we have texting and facebook right?

Wrap Up

Well that just about wraps up my BMQ journal entries that I wrote. I’ll fill in some of what happened after my last entry.

We had our drill test the following day. Only a handful of people failed. And because not everyone passed none of us got our cap badges. We did eventually get them the following day after the re-test when everyone passed. The rest of the day was “free-time” for us, for the most part.

We were assigned “Duty Platoon” our last week, which meant we had to clean the common areas on base. But the weather was starting to get bad. So the decision was made to let anyone who was driving home leave at 14:30. We lost about 1/3 of our platoon, maybe more. Certain areas we were told we didn’t have to clean because they were a safety hazard. And because so many of our platoon had left Duty Staff told us all we had to clean was the Green Break Room.

Once we were finished cleaning that, we were “free” to do as we pleased. Kinda. Some people went to the Mess, but came back disappointed when they discovered they weren’t serving alcohol. I just hung out on our floor playing card games. We eventually played Cards Against Humanity. BEST. GAME. EVER. We had some good laughs.

Since being home I’ve had to do a lot of Christmas shopping and readjusting to civilian life. You think it wouldn’t be hard, but it is. Especially walking. When you get used to marching everywhere, walking normally is hard. It’s been hard not calling anyone who serves me (cashiers, waiters etc..) Staff. Oh and cutting back on swearing.

There have been some good habits I’ve developed, like always being aware of timings. When someone says “lets meet at such-and-such a time” I always make sure I’m at least 5mins early. I almost fear being late. I don’t want to get yelled at!

I leave to go back tomorrow. Of course we’re getting hit with a snow storm. Just figures. We had a very mild Christmas with no snow and the day I leave we get it. I’m just hoping there’s no major delays.

Packing has been a bitch. Trying to figure out what to bring is hard. Well clothing wise any ways. After grad, chances are I’m going to my next posting and not home. So I’ll need a better variety of civilian clothes. And definitely more winter clothes. What I had before weren’t the warmest things I could have brought.

BMQ Day #34 & #37

28 Nov 2014

These last 2 weeks have been brutal. We did our weapons training, which I was not looking forward to at all. I’m not big on using weapons. I know, I’m in the military I have to learn. But in my line of work I will rarely, if ever, be required to fire a weapon.

This morning was the dreaded weapons test. I was a ball of stress and nerves. The staff testing me could tell. I know my shit, it’s just I hate practical tests. I over think everything and make really, REALLY stupid mistakes. I made a very bad and critical mistake during my test. I was so nervous that I kept forgetting to do one simple step. So I failed. But, silver lining, we get to retest on Monday. They understand that a vast majority of us have never used a weapon until now and our fail rate was apparently average.

It still didn’t make me feel any better. I was mentally beating myself up the entire day. After the test I went to the bathroom and cried it out. Yes, I cried. I was so disappointed in myself. I hate failing. And I especially hate failing for something so stupid. Stupid on my part.

Thankfully I have the weekend to de-stress, study and practice. I do not want to fail again. I know my mistake and I vow not to make it again!

1 Dec 2014

Holy crap it’s December! Where the fuck did the time go!? Today was a “fun” day. First thing this morning was the weapons retest. Everyone passed! Pretty sure the main reason we all failed in the first place was nerves.

In the afternoon we did the FORCE test again. We originally did it back in week 1. This was to see how much we have improved. I improved in everything! My biggest improvement would have been the sandbag lift. You pick up a 40lb sandbag 1 meter, drop it, jump over 1 meter and repeat 30 times.

My original time was 2:05. This time mine was 1:40! I was very proud of myself. It wasn’t easy, but it felt easier than last time. I didn’t feel out of breath or struggle much. But I went in with a game plan. You have 3:30 to complete it. I calculated it out that I’d need to do a minimum of 7-8 lifts per minute. And when I thought about that way, it didn’t seem so daunting. I also paced myself. Slow and steady wins the race. I didn’t worry about how long I was taking, I just focused on my form. I made sure I was getting a good grip and kept my breathing in check.

The only thing I did worse on was the beep test. But to be fair I had my left calf wrapped in a tensor bandage. I strained it about a year ago and it’s been bothering me lately. Any ways, the beep test was at the very end and by the time I got to stage 2.5 my clasp broke on the bandage. So the bandage began to unravel, which made my leg begin to ache. I pushed as far as I could and dropped out during stage 3. I was so mad! I could have kept going! My cardio was great! Just my fucking leg! ARG!!

BMQ Day #24, #25 & #26

18 Nov 2014

Well, today could have been a good day. First we had 5:10am PT. We were told to line up at the infamous North Doors. That is never a good thing. We received many looks of sympathy as we marched passed other platoons. Scary shit happens beyond the North Doors. Of course it’s all rumours and we’ve never gone beyond them.

We arrived there early and our staff was impressed. After we got lined up in ranks our staff told us to go to the gym instead. We dodged a huge bullet. After PT, which was just doing push ups, squats, sit ups and leg raises we had time to shower and go for breakfast. Afterwards we had a fire safety course.

We “fucked up” on our marching so “badly” that is really pissed off our marching NCO. So we lost our cell phones for 3 days. I’m pissed off. Really fucking pissed.

The pay phones also charge way too much.

Back to the fire class. At the end of the class we had a practical test. I was not prepared for that. I don’t think any of us were. We all passed so yay! But it was such a boring class. Most classes are. I mean it’s not easy making a fire safety course fun or exciting.

19 Nov 2014

This day has fucking sucked so hard. It’s not even funny. Inspection was a joke. Drill was a joke. There are some guys who aren’t even trying and it’s pissing us all off. Gym sucked because not only am I sick but it was right after lunch.

At orders we were told we’re all changing cubicles because our inspection was so bad this morning. The girls are fucking pissed because our little section was immaculate. And lets face it, not all the boys have the same cleanliness standard as us.

So instead of practicing drill, we’ve been cleaning. And chances are we’ll probably be moving back tomorrow. I just have this feeling.

Not having my phone is driving me insane. I need to talk to Andrew. I need to talk to my mom. I need my family. I miss him so much right now. It just really hit me tonight. Not having him to talk to, to help calm me down is rough.

20 Nov 2014

And who was right? This girl right here. We switched back to our original cubicles. I’m a bit more content. I have my space back. I have my lovely view of the town and Montreal in the distance.

I feel used. I feel like our staff just switched us because they know the girls have higher standards of cleanliness so they basically wanted us to go over to the other side and clean it up. I’m only speculating and it may or may not be true. Regardless, I’m annoyed. But I know that this was some sort of a test. To see how well we handle stress and change. I can handle it. I’m just not happy about it.

BMQ Day #22

16 Nov 2014

We got our week 4’s on Friday. At the end of each week we get a new epaulette for our uniform which indicates what week we are in. I was Course Senior on Friday, which meant I was responsible for the platoon. I was the person in charge. I was dreading that day so much! We all have to do it.People got to see a very rare side of me. They got to see my angry side. They got to see me yell. I hate having to let my inner bitch out. I prefer to keep her locked up.

Friday was insane! First we had inspection. It’s even more shitty when you’re the CS because everything is your fault. At least our platoon 2I/C was kind enough to warn me he was going to throw the brooms and mops so I could move out of the way. After inspection we had First Aid for 3 hours. Oh joy…

After lunch we had our 5km ruck march. No one fell out, so that was good. Right after we did a fireman drag. You had to drag someone around your own weight 20m without stopping. Luckily there was a light layer of snow, making the grass slippery thus making the drag a tad bit easier.

Finally after that we did the obstacle course. That was one thing I was really worried about. I’ve heard so many horror stories about people getting hurt. Mainly girls. I believe it was just 2 weeks ago two girls from the same platoon fell and broke their legs! One has to wait until February or March for a second surgery to have pins removed before she can be recoursed. I’d hate to be her; stuck on AWT platoon for so long.

There were three obstacles I couldn’t do, but I tried my hardest regardless. I didn’t want to go down without a fight! I just wish my upper body strength was better. I could have done them. Also didn’t have that the gloves they issued me are too big for my tiny hands. It’s pretty terrifying when you’re climbing up a wobbly rope ladder and your hand slip out of your gloves.

No one got seriously hurt. The worst was “K.” She fell off the bridge and cut her lip. First it’s not a high bridge, just a really low own which wobbles and you have to run across it while screaming your battle cry. It wasn’t too serious of an injury though, she didn’t need stitches or anything and was able to finish the course.

We’re all sore and bruised now. I have a pretty massive bruise on my right bicep. It’s mighty ugly and painful. My knees are pretty bruised up as well.

I think a lot of people are hitting their breaking point with each other. We’ve been stuck with one another for nearly 4 weeks. Personalities are starting to clash. People are getting catty/bitchy. Some people just need to grow the fuck up. Some people need to act like adults and not fucking children. Not all, just some.

Some people are decent, mature, grown up. I just try to avoid the people who bother me. I’m not going to name any names. I want to, but I feel like if I did it would just bite me in the ass later on.

There are people I enjoy talking to. Again, I wont name names because it may cause some jealously should any of my platoon mates read this. Actually most people are pretty chill. It’s just when you get a lot of strong opinions and personalities that there are problems.

BMQ Day #13

7 Nov 2014

I’ve lost count of the days. This week has been insanely busy. I know I say that a lot, but it’s true! Our instructors are really trying to amp up the stress on us. Some guys are beginning to crack under the pressure.

We had our first three inspections this week. They weren’t too bad. I accidentally my section command (who’s a Sgt) Master Sgt…Yea, fuck me. He didn’t seem too amused, but he rarely does. He asked if I was making up new ranks or something. I had to bite my tongue. To be fair, there was a MCpl with him so I got a little flustered.

We did our swim test today in our combats. The was fun. We had to tread water for 2 mins, then swim half the length of the pool without letting our heads go underwater or touching the wall. Sounds easy right? Well you don’t have a life jacket and combats are pretty flipping heavy when wet.

The second part pf the test you had to jump from a 3 meter high diving board, land a certain way then swim half the length of the pool. For the second test you had to wear a life jacket. I passed both. Slow and steady wins the race. Some people I noticed were overexerting themselves during the treading water part. I just leaned back and took it easy. Out of the 50+ people on our platoon, 18 failed. However, it’s not a mandatory test to pass while on BMQ. So some people really lucked out there.

BMQ Day #7

1 Nov 2014

It has been insanely busy the last few days. Hence the lack of updates. I can’t even really remember what happened the last few days. It’s all been a big blur. We went to Canex on Wednesday. The guys got their heads shaved. Thursday we got our kit issued. What a pain in the ass. We had 3 duffle bags, our rucksack and biv bag. We had a plan, as a platoon, to get everything upstairs. But one of our MCpl’s wouldn’t let us do it.

We were going to have the girls upstairs and the guys lined up the stairs. The guys would pass up the bags and we, the girls would bring everything to the proper cubicles. It was a brilliant plan and involved teamwork. Something I was so certain we were supposed to embrace. Working as a TEAM.

Nope. Instead we had to carry everything up in 2 trips. First, one duffle bag on your back, biv bag in one had and ruck in the other. I did it, but I wanted to die. The next trip was one duffle bag on your back and one duffle bag in your hand. One of the guys offered to help me with the second trip. My arms were toast. They’re still really sore.

Now, to give you an idea of what we had to carry in these bags, I’ll list a few items:

• FFO (helmet, tack vest, gas mask)
• 3 pairs of combats
• 2 pairs of combat boots, 1 pair gortex boots, 1 pair mukluks
• winter coat&pants, raincoat&pants
• 2 pairs of fleece combats
• DEU (2 blazers, 2 pairs pants, 6 dress shirts, parade boots etc…)
• 2 sleeping bags
• 5 or 6 pairs of gloves
• probably 2 pairs of socks and much more!

Today we learned how to assemble our rucksacks. What a pain in the ass that was.

So, I’ve learned some interesting things about our sister platoon. Apparently we are the “Hollywood” platoon and they’re the “Hell” platoon. Since day one they’ve been doing a lot of punishment PT, getting yelled at all the time, getting “jacked up” etc… Meanwhile we haven’t had anything like that. ButI guess they have some pretty unstable people on their platoon.

I wonder if that personality test we did after the CFAT affects which kind of platoon you get put on… Just a though.

I’m making a lot of friends here. Some of the guys are pretty nice. I’m finidng I’m connecting better with the older ones. The younger guys, well, it’s a bit touch and go. Some are alright and some need to grow up.

BMQ Day #2 & #5

26 Oct 2014

So I survived day #2! It wasn’t so bad. We had a lecture in the morning. Apparently we have a lot of air force recruits in our platoon. I’d say close to 80%, if not more. There’s only a handful of navy and army guys. Our one Sgt looked like he wanted to shit himself. He’s army. He was… disappointed I think. We’re also apparently fucked when we do our field training because we don’t have many army guys.

We also have a lot of young people on our platoon. By young I mean under 22 years old.

Nothing really interesting happened today. It was pretty boring for the most part. We did a group reading of a bunch of policies and stuff. Very dry stuff.

29 Oct 2014

So much for daily entries! We’ve been pretty busy the last few days. a lot of death by powerpoint. Yesterday was our fitness test. I passed! It was freaking hard! My body is so sore! I’m glad the beep test wasn’t necessary to pass. We had to do it, but if you failed it didn’t count.

Our staff watched the whole fitness test. They later gave us shit for being noisy. I thought we were supposed to encourage/cheer each other on. Are we not supposed to work as a team? Whatever.

I’m still bummed that some of my friends back home didn’t even acknowledge my leaving. Do they not realize once I’m done my basic training I wont be in town very often? I’ll be moving away soon. I could be posted anywhere! Oh well, their lose I suppose. We’ll just have to see what happens when I come home for Christmas.

I miss home. I miss my bed. I miss Andrew. And yes, I put my bed before my hubby. This bed suck majorly. It’s hard as a rock!

We had a random check in tonight on our floor with some duty staff. I was on the freaking toilet when I heard everyone call “GROUP!” I didn’t know what to do! Was I supposed to come to attention while sitting on the toilet? I froze and waited until I heard people moving around.

BMQ Day #1

I brought a journal with me to my BMQ so I would have an outlet when I had some spare time. Yea, spare time is rare to come across. I only managed to write a few entries, not nearly as many as I had expected to. So here’s my very first journal entry.

25 Oct 2014

Flying was an interesting experience. I haven’t flown since I was 4 years old. I didn’t know what to expect. The flight out of London was short an noisy. Well that’s a D-8 for ya! Those props are noisy. I was supposed to have a window seat, but I switched with some girl so she and her boyfriend could sit together. We had some turbulence, but not much.

In Toronto I met up with some other recruits. Most were on an earlier flight. I had to wait around 3 hours. The second flight was nicer. It was smoother. And I had a TV! I was lucky enough to get on the first shuttle bus to the base. Otherwise I would have had to wait 3 hours for the next one.

It wasn’t as terrifying as my brother was making it out to be. But I think with all that has been going on, maybe they’re just being nice? My staff seems to be mostly air force, which is better than army. I know there’s at least one navy guy on my staff, which according to my brother is good.

I’m up on the 8th floor. At least it’s not the 12th! Carrying my luggage up was a real challenge. Luckily a guy on my platoon helped me from the 6th floor.

There’s only seven girls in my platoon of 50+ recruits. Yea…7. I was hoping for a higher number. Oh well, less people  to fight showers for!

As odd as it may sound, it hasn’t sunk in yet for me. This doesn’t feel real. I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I was expecting to be more nervous about the whole thing. I thought I’d feel differently when I got here. But I don’t. I think that because we are allowed to have our cell phone and communicate with our families it’s less stressful. I still miss everyone back home.